We have poison in our pockets.

No word from the boy from the bus, but it's okay. I'm not dwelling and being weird like I usually do. Tonight on the bus, I'll hope to see someone cute, but it won't matter either way. I'll probably just sleep.

I haven't heard from Luis in a while, and I hate to say it, but I'm relieved.

My mom and I will call my Aunt Bev. Soon. Like, this week. She's the one who keeps forgetting, and she's the one who knows her number. It's not like returning a call to some weird old lady you sew with. We have to call her.

I have to talk to her again. Just one more time. That's all.

That's all.

You can't find your name in the script.

Let's start with a couple of photos from Carpinteria.

Seriously, I love this place so much. It's my home. Or, it will be. One day.

Anyway.

I still haven't talked to Luis since Tuesday. I don't know if I even really want to. Ugh, I hate this, not knowing. I really do.

But to make up for it all, I met a cute boy on the bus yesterday. It was quite a stroke of good luck, I think, since the bus was almost full. And, for the record, he talked to me. He has a great smile, and now I'm just waiting for him to add me on Facebook. He probably would have asked for my number if it hadn't been for an odd incident involving an older guy behind us and a children's book that may or may not exist.

Casey said it was adorable when I told her about how he waved to me when he got off the bus.

I have to agree.

It's all about the moderate climates.

How about a short, sweet update?
I went to Carpinteria for a few days in July. It was great, even if my brother was an idiot.
It took a lot to get me where I am right now, sitting at school on my laptop waiting for my math class to start. I'm still waitlisted, but I'm hopeful. And actually, this update is so brief because I really should get around to staring my homework.
I'm taking organismal biology, intermediate algebra, philosophy, and psychology. I'm most excited about bio, naturally.
I've been talking to Luis and I can't decide if I'm not into him, or if I'm just emotionally handicapped. I don't even know.
And that is all!

No, friend. I don't know, friend.

I know, it's been a long, long, long while. I get lazy when it comes to the internet. I think I'll be able to condense the past few months in a very brief post.

I'm going to fail my speech class. If I do pass, it'll be with a 60%. Whatever, I don't like that class and don't know why I took a coms class where I actually have to get up and give a speech. I'd rather play with daddy long legs. Except not really. In fact, I would rather give a speech than have anything to do with spiders.

I'm going to pass my SciFi class with flying colours. I mean, it would take more effort to fail it than it would to pass.

I'm doing well in bio, which I'm pretty pleased with.

I'm passing math by the grace of the gods, and the fact that I can play the system. Wow, I am a terrible student. I probably drive my teachers to drink.

I'm done with Luis. That's all there is to it. That's all that needs to be said.

Casey said she'll help me find someone this summer. Her end goal is a bit different from mine (with a distraction, I won't be able to distract her), but it's all good. Best friends are for insulting each other and helping each other.

My great uncle passed away last week. We're going to the funeral on Friday. I'm freaking out a little bit, but I know that after the fact, the whole thing will just disappear. I'm an expert at shoving away bad thoughts until they stop existing.

And other than the fact that I'm expecting an amazing summer, that's everything!

Bound by the surprise of our glory days.

I don't know what it is about this song. It's on repeat and every time, I feel the same things. It might bring me to tears or something.

It feels like a reminder of what I could have, should have done and said.

He slipped through my fingers and now, there's nothing to be done. Why do I keep telling myself that I don't care? I do, and that's all there is to it.

I hate it. I hate this feeling.

Whatever, whatever, whatever. Nothing will ever happen, and one day, it'll take me a few minutes to totally recall him and I'll finally be happy.

Oh, gods, I hope.

Don't mind me, I'm just kind of...lamenty.

We're talkin' about two different things.

I need school to start. I need distractions. I need new faces and new names that I won't be able to remember. I need new guys in my life. I'm absolutely going to find someone this semester, whether I rekindle what I had with the fellow who shall henceforth be dubbed The Idiot, or whether I find someone new.

I'm sick and I'm tired of being a second choice, or, usually, not a choice at all. I need someone to see me and give me butterflies and keep me at the top of his mind. I need someone that wears the same goofy smile as me when we first meet. I need someone that wants to go to aquariums and In-N-Out and the beach and Saddleback Butte.

I need someone.

That's all there is to it.

Ugh. Ugh, ugh, ugh.

The signal don't seem right.

I need to go somewhere. That's all there is to it.

I don't believe in love.

Yesterday was pretty amazing. We went to the mall and wandered around for several hours. Basically, the day consisted of Armadillo Eggs, karaoke (always "Bohemian Rhapsody"), mild creeping, and giving guys our numbers. Casey gave her number to a cute doo-wop/punk/adorable guy, and we both gave ours to this interesting fellow nicknamed Crow with amazing eyes. Oh, and we did a survey and got paid. So I guess that makes us professional survey-takers.

Then, after I spent less than I intended at Barnes & Noble, we got Starbucks and pizza, then went home. Apparently, we're incapable of spending less than two nights at each others' homes. Crow called, and we talked over each other on speaker phone while I'm sure he just walked around, staring at his phone in dismay. Casey and I have to call him separately.

It was all pretty freaking amazing.

I can watch the sunset on my own.

I don't know what it is, but every time Casey and I hang out together, we turn into babbling idiot versions of ourselves, laughing at every single little thing possible. It's the best. :)

We're going to the mall tomorrow. Er, today. I'm going to turn in an application to Torrid, and we'll hunt around for an attractive guy. Well, I will. She has a new boyfriend.

Really, there would be a good point to this if I was posting after the mall, but some nights, you just feel like writing. And posting pictures of yourself and your best friend.

April 2010, right before we left for the Renaissance faire. Good times, good times. :)

Dressed up like the newly dead.

It's been a while. Sadly, there isn't too much for me to update. I did well last semester (A for art history, B for English, C in PoliSci), I got some cool stuff for Christmas (Barnes & Noble gift cards, new bedding set, great headphones, etc.), and I chilled with Casey for New Year's Eve. Actually, we scrapped. Honestly, who works on their scrapbooks on New Year's Eve? It was great, though.  Then, on Saturday, her dad took us to the Northridge Fashion Centre.

Also: it's snowing here! Everyone has been carrying on and on, and I can't blame them. The snow is so lovely and peaceful here, and we never get it. It's because we live in the desert, and it sucks. But this is nice. My brother built a snowman with my nephews, my mom made me cocoa, and I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's. Tomorrow I'll probably watch Sabrina, Blazing Saddles, and Thumbelina. However that last one is spelled.

Right now, life is great. I've got Surfer Blood playing, I'm the only one up, and the heater is on full-blast. And except for the fact that I just cracked my head against the wall, I'm feeling pretty great.

Here's hoping 2011 is twice as awesome as 2010!